Any bride will tell
you that the reception flies by. But the last dance doesn't have to signal the
end of the celebration. There are always revelers who refuse to let the good
times come to a close, so it's essential to have an after-hours game plan. It isn't
just a way to prolong your wedding day (and you will appreciate every extra
minute) -- consider it another chance to impress your guests with surprising
details and personal touches. Here's how to get the party started.
Settle on a Style
There are three types of post-wedding paths: one
is the somewhat spontaneous let's-meet-at-a-bar gathering where guests show up
and pay their way; two is the our-own-room-in-a-bar route with or without an
open tab; and the third is the well-organized-wedding-part-two celebration
where guests continue in the open-bar revelry with or without added
entertainment (a DJ, pool tables, sundae bar). The main differences are the
legwork, cost, and possibility of snafus (mainly that the bar is overcrowded).
Once you decide what type of after-party you want, the rest of the decisions
will come easy.
After-party Pointer: Even if you go
for the low-maintenance, meet-at-a-bar kind of party, call at least a week
ahead to make sure they haven't booked any private parties for that night. You
don't want to be scrambling around town in your wedding gown, looking for a
good bar.
Invite Right
The best thing about planning the after-party is
that traditional wedding etiquette need not apply. Yes, everyone should feel
welcome to join, but official invites are simply not necessary. If you want to
ensure all your guests are aware of the post-wedding festivities (and won't
make other plans), include the after-party info on a separate card to be sent
with your wedding invitations. Or, post it on your wedding website with a link
to the venue. Destination weddings will do right with the info listed on the
weekend's schedule of events. For a more low-key after-party, it's fine to let
everyone know about the plan through word of mouth -- start spreading the news
at the shower and bachelorette party.
After-party Pointer: Deciding who to
invite to the after-party is simple: If they're invited to the reception, they
should be invited to the after-party. Even if you know some of your guests
won't be up for partying after the reception, still extend the invitation so no
one feels snubbed. That said, you can position the party as a mainly friends
affair by choosing a hip location like the new lounge in town or a billiards
club. But if your parents and their friends want to attend, they should still
be welcome with open arms.
Choose a Convenient Spot
You'll hear lots of compliments and praise from
your friends and family throughout your reception, so use the after-party to
show your guests how much you appreciate them. When you choose your after-party
venue, remember the old real estate axiom: what matters most is location,
location, location. Make sure the after-party is somewhere that's convenient to
the reception. If the majority of your out-of-town guests are staying in the
same area, find a nearby bar or lounge. If you're having your reception in a
hotel ballroom, check if you can rent a smaller room -- or even a suite, if
your guest list is small -- in the same hotel to host your party.
After-party Pointer: By the time
your reception is over, at least a few of your guests will probably have had a
bit too much to drink. Transportation to the after-party should be one of your
main concerns -- if the venue is not within walking distance, consider booking
a shuttle to get guests around safely, or hire a few cabs to wait outside your
reception space when it's finished.
Vary the Decor
You've thought through every detail to make your
guests gasp when they see your reception space -- go for the same reaction when
they enter your after-party. To wow them once again, you'll need unexpected
décor, so pick a theme that's different from your reception. If you've stuck
with a formal, classic style throughout your wedding, make your after-party a
little more laid back by giving out leis and serving tropical cocktails. If you
chose big band classics for your reception tunes, hire a DJ to play all your
'80s favorites at the after-party. Had a casual outdoor ceremony and reception?
Treat your guests to a Latin-themed after-party, complete with salsa band,
mojito bar, and cigars rolled to order.
After-party Pointer: When you pick
your after-party theme, make sure it matches your personalities. If you and
your friends have more fun at the neighborhood bar than at a super swank club,
don't feel like your party needs to be ultraposh -- making everyone comfortable
is an important step to after-party success.
Feed the Crowd
You served a delicious dinner at the reception,
but after hours of dancing and drinking, your guests are going to be hungry.
Whether you opt for an open bar at your after-party, you should also offer your
guests something to snack on. Follow the rules of décor. Just like it's smart
to vary the look of reception and the after-party, it's also a good idea to serve
a different type of food. If your main dish at dinner was salmon, a sushi bar
at your after-party might be fish overload. And it doesn't have to be too fancy
-- we know a couple who served mini burgers, fries, and milkshakes for a tasty
midnight snack.
After-party Pointer: Do you have to
have an open bar? Well, that's up to you and your budget. Open bar is always
appreciated, but the decision also depends on where and what kind of
after-party you're throwing. If you've rented out a room or a suite at your
reception site, yes, open bar is essential. If you've rented out a private
space at a bar, it's a generous and appropriate gesture. If it's a less formal,
let's-hit-this-bar type of event, it's not necessary.
Wear What You Want
Even if the after-party is held in the bar next
door, you can generally expect everyone to stay in their party clothes. If it's
held at the hotel where everyone's staying, many guests will want to change
into more casual gear. That's fine, unless the after-party room has a dress code.
It's considerate to let your guests know what sort of attire is expected after
the reception's over. If you're planning a casual after-party, tell your guests
they should feel free to change out of their formalwear and into something more
comfortable. If you think it'd be fun to coordinate the attire with your
party's décor (like a black and white theme, or a Hawaiian luau), make your
plans clear beforehand so no one feels left out by dressing inappropriately.
After-party Pointer: If you want to
sport your white dress ‘til dawn, go for it. Play the princess card for as long
as you wish. Just know, every extra hour you're in your gown -- especially
around food and drinks -- you run the risk of staining your dress. If you're
wearing a two piece gown, consider changing into jeans and leaving the top on.
Cover the Costs
So, who's paying? Chances are there will be many
a guest offering to slap down their credit cards at the bar. Because the
after-party is a relatively new wedding trend, there's no set etiquette for who
traditionally pays. The bride's parents may consider it part of the reception
and pay for the after-party, especially if it's taking place in the same hotel
or resort, since it can be easily added to the final bill. On the other hand,
many couples choose to pay for the after-party themselves, regardless of who
pays for the wedding, since the attendees will generally be the couple's
younger friends. If you're uncertain on who's planning on paying, consider
offering to split the bill with your parents. No need to go overboard -- if
you're worried about overspending, just put a cap on the open bar after an hour
or two.
After-party Pointer: All good things
must come to an end, including your wedding day. If you're renting a space, you
probably have an allotted amount of time, so deciding when to go home can be
pretty clear cut. Otherwise, if you and your husband are up for it, there's no
reason you can't celebrate till dawn! If you're hosting a brunch or leaving
early for your honeymoon the next morning, make sure you've got someone to give
you a wakeup call so you don't oversleep.
Thanks to Pamela Barefoot of Atrendy Wedding & Event Company; Melissa Paul of Evantine Design-- Miles Stiverson